While you were sleeping...  
I was lying awake...
I felt the Earth tremble...
I felt my knees quake...
I saw the snow falling peacefully...
As the flames engulfed the streets...
I saw the moon high in the sky...
And I saw hope flicker out...
I felt desperation cling to my heart
I could feel my body shaking, my fingers frozen
My mind ever-present, but painfully unaware of the world around it
I could feel the hot tears streaming down my frigid cheek
Arms wrapped around myself, straining to keep my last bit of sanity
My subconscious was back in the hole I dug years ago.

I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe. My body on auto-pilot.
All feeling gone. Is it better that way?
What would life be without emotion?
Painless, obviously... The intended ideal...
Or was that it?

Was all I wanted to escape pain?
Possibly, but by my own standards
And now that I've had true happiness...
I want no less!

How do I gain what is forever lost to me?
Turning back time, of course, if only I could...

All thoughts seemingly futile...

The most wonderful thing was in my grip...
The purest, simplest, most amazing form of love...
My finger ran delicately over it...
Beautiful, I never wanted to let it go...

But, an over-anxious hand... too weak...
Only strong enough to destroy...

I felt the dust slip between my fingers...
Felt the ground slip beneath my feet...
The stars vanished...
The sky was completely blackened...
The darkness I always feared...

Why do I still fight? Why do I still stand?
Why struggle?
Why try to live?

Not without him... Not without the love I had...
I can't live without, nor can I die without it...
Without it... I don't exist...

I disappeared while you were sleeping...
Will I be here when you wake up...?